The Reality Of Platonic Relationships Sociology Essay

The Reality Of Platonic Relationships Sociology Essay Romantic relationships are characterized by feelings of passion, emotional reactions and physical attraction; and platonic relationships are characterized by the absence of physical attraction, passion or sex (Sippola, 1999). These two characterizations are very important for the scope of this paper because both are crucial to answer the question, Can men and women really be just friends? In the magazine Psychology Today, Clifford Lazarus wrote an article with an explanation to this question. Lazarus contends, for the most part, purely platonic relationships for heterosexual men and women are a myth (Lazarus, 2010). To support his contention, he refers to the reflexive nature of men and the reflective nature of women. Lazarus refers to a sexual desirability reflex, which men demonstrate towards women in prime reproductive age. This reflex suggests the immediate thoughts of males when first encountering females are whether or not he would like to have sex with her (Lazarus, 2010). Although, it is argued that females may exhibit the same thoughts, although not as frequently as with males, they tend to quickly move past this reflex. On the other hand, women generally want to determine the suitability of a potential partner. This suitability is referred to as a desire to look for potential long term, socioeconomic stability with a partner (Canary Dindia, 1998). Women therefore, tend to be more sexually reflective and choosier than males, while males tend to be more sexually reflexive than women. These reflexive and reflective drives can be linked to evolutionary theories. Males have an indefinite amount of sperm while females only have a predetermined amount of eggs for her life span (Lazarus, 2010). This suggests an explanation of why males may exhibit the above mentioned reflex more than females, and why females exhibit a determinable reflective drive. This article therefore concludes that purely platonic relationships in cross-sex friendships do not exist. The purpose of this paper is to compare and contrast the conclusion of the Psychology Today article with scholarly research to determine if purely platonic cross-sex friendships can exist between heterosexual men and women. It is important to indicate that the articles conclusion assumes that a purely platonic relationship exists when both people in the relationship have never considered having a romantic relationship with each other. Through sexually charged flirtatious behavior and evolutionary theories, the first part of this paper will provide support for the articles conclusion that purely platonic cross-sex friendships are not possible. However, the second part of this paper will present evidence denouncing the preceding hypothesis by means of costs, romantic intentions and reasons to stay platonic. Flirtatious Behavior Both romantic and platonic relationships report flirtatious activity although frequencies in flirtatious behavior may differ (Egland, Spitzberg, Zormeier, 1996). Some examples of flirtatious behaviors include looking your friend or partner up and down, gazing in their eyes and smiling suggestively. When comparing results of the platonic cross-sex relationships to the romantic cross-sex relationships, platonic relationships engaged in flirtatious activity nearly as much as romantic relationships (Egland, et al., 1996). This finding bolsters the view that even in platonic relationships, flirtatious behavior is expressed. Furthermore, flirtatious behavior may be sexually charged. According to Henningsen, Braz, and Davies (2008), people engage in flirtatious behavior for six main reasons. First is sexual motivation, referring to ones desires to engage in sexual acts. Second, an individual may be relationally motivated, with the intention of moving from a platonic relationship to a romantic relationship. Third is fun motivation, referring to flirting to gain sexual excitement or thrill. Fourth is exploring motivation, referring to flirtatious behavior of platonic relationships to explore and see if positive feedback comes from the other person. Fifth is esteem motivation, which remarks on how gaining positive feedback from flirting may boost self esteem or arousal. And finally people flirt for instrumental motivation, which is flirting for possible access to rewards. Flirting is the primary apparatus to signal sexual and romantic accessibility (Guererro Chavez, 2005). All of the reasons people may flirt are charged with motives other than being platonic. Flirtation can be described as a subcategory of social-sexual communication (Henningsen, et al., 2008, p. 2). These social-sexual communications carry the connotation of being sexually charged, suggesting one person may have had sexual or romantic thoughts at one point in time in the relationship. This suggests that flirting is associated with sexual desire, or reasons other than what constitutes a platonic friendship (Henningsen, Braz, Davies, 2008). Flirtatious behavior is often intended to be interpreted in a way that carries sexual motive (Henningsen, et al., 2008). This implies that those in platonic relationships have an intended purpose or conscious motive to engage in it. For instance, platonic relationships that do not want to turn romantic voluntarily do not engage in flirtatious behavior (Guerrero Mongeau, 2008). This suggests that platonic relationships may be conscious of flirting, thus indicating that people engage in flirting through a particular motivation; in these instances a sexually charged motivation. Since platonic relationships do engage in flirtatious behavior with one another, there is reason to believe that the flirtatious behavior is sexually charged Furthermore, men may interpret expressed behavior from women differently than from what women intend. If women are not voluntarily trying to give flirtatious signals or signs of flirtatious behavior, men are much more readily apparent to interpret non-flirtatious signals as flirtatious (Canary Dindia, 1998). Therefore, even in an apparently platonic friendship, men may be misinterpreting these non-flirtatious signals as flirtatious, and therefore sexual as well, even if there is no intension to communicate flirtatious behavior. This implies even in some apparently platonic relationships, certain behaviors may signal signs of sexual desire unintentionally. CHECK THESE PRECEDING 3 PARAGRAPHS Evolutionary Views According to evolutionary theories, flirtatious behavior is contingent upon a desire to procreate (Canary Dindia, 1998). As mentioned in the article, men have a type of reflexive drive and women have a type of reflective drive (Lazarus, 2010). From an evolutionary stance, a look into interactions between men and women will reinforce these reflexive and reflective drives. Reflective and Reflexive Behavior Women are more likely to choose a partner or mate who exhibits status and resources, therefore being more reflective than males (Lazarus, 2010). Women are generally more interested in men with high resource potential (Canary Dindia, 1998). This indicates why women focus on a long term stable relationship; one which is able to support their offspring. On the other hand, men are much more likely to approach women who display more signs of flirtatious behavior (Canary Dindia, 1998). This indicates mens reflexive drive, indicating sexual thoughts or interest upon initial encounters (Lazarus, 2010). Interests of men and women vary depending on age group. Males prefer younger women, while women prefer older males as age ascends. Women tend to be more fertile when they are younger, while men tend to be more economically sufficient and successful as they grow older (Alterovitz Mendelsohn, 2009). This suggests men being more concerned with the fertility of women by preferring younger mates, while women reported being more concerned with male socioeconomic status, indicated by selecting older men (Alterovitz Mendelsohn, 2009). Parental Investment Theory Additionally, the female perception of older males having the resources to provide for their offspring and males having the impression to mate with a fertile female is consistent with the evolutionary theory of parental investments. Under parental investment theory, the investments of men and women differ. For example, a women needs to carry the offspring. On the other hand, men could technically end their investment of the offspring immediately after conception. As referenced by Tafoya (2006), womens potential for reproduction after conception is inhibited, while on the other hand men as quoted by Lazarus (2010), have their sperm constantly replenished. Furthermore, because of the paternity uncertainty hypothesis, a man can never know with absolute certainty that a child is his. On the contrary, even though the mother may not know who the father of her child is, this hypothesis holds that she will know for certain that she will pass her genes on to her offspring (Tafoya, 2006). Considering this hypothesis and the theory of parental investments, the reflexive nature of men and reflective nature of women are explained. A males reflexive drive can be explained since males never know if the child is theirs with absolute certainty and their investment need not go beyond conception (Tafoya, 2006). Therefore, males seem to exhibit lesser commitment, reinforcing their reflexive tendencies. Additionally, men are more likely to accept a short term mate of any overall quality than women. For instance, it is more probable that men rather than women select a short term mate whose overall qualities such as wealth, status and attractiveness are lacking. Men are also more likely than women to have a one night stand or participate in an affair (Li Kenrick, 2006). On the other hand, women know their genes will be passed on and are making more of a sacrifice from an evolutionary standpoint by the cessation of their potential reproduction. This indicates that females may be more selective about their mates as indicated in the article by reflective drives. Furthermore, women prefer resources and status when looking for a short term mate more than males. In fact, women prefer the same qualities in their short term mates as they do in their long term mates (Li Kenrick, 2006). This implies women exemplify this reflective drive in support of a potential parental investor, that being the potential mate. It is shown that mating as well as parenting is essential to success of offspring, which helps to explain the characteristics of these reflexive and reflective drives (Tafoya, 2006). However, evolutionary views not limited to parental investment theory. Friends with Benefits and Biosocial Theory Evolutionary theories are evident in friends with benefits relationships. Friends with benefits refer to non-romantic or platonic relationships who engage in sexual activities (McGinty, Knox, Zusman, 2007). Friends with benefits is not just a trend, but also is commonly engaged in. Nearly 60% of undergraduates reported having had an experience with a friends with benefits relationship (McGinty et al., 2007). This reinforces the instinctive sexual activity and sexual behavior with the opposite sex. Biosocial theory of evolution may inquire more deeply as to why friends with benefits occurs. Biosocial Theory predicts human behavior by looking to a persons genetic predisposition and their environment. Women show to be more emotionally involved in a friend with benefits relationship than men. Because women emphasize emotional attachment, it is argued that women do so in order to have a stable relationship (McGinty et al., 2007). In having a stable relationship, women need to rear their offspring, thus suggesting why women are more emotionally concerned with friends with benefits relationships than men. On the other hand, men are more sexually focused with the relationship. At times, men are shown to be involved in multiple friends with benefits relationships, thus strengthening the point that men exhibit a reflexive drive (McGinty et al., 2007). Furthermore, Schneider Kenny (2000) surveyed how rewarding and costly people see an opposite-sex platonic friendship. Sexual access was reported as a potential benefit of being in a cross-sex friendship, as well as a reported cost. For example, men may be friends with women as a means to gain sexual access, however, men report having less sexual access than women. This suggests men are more concerned with sexual access than women (Bleske Buss, 2000). This reinforces the idea of the reflexive nature of men. However, women are reported to be benefited when protected by an opposite sex friend. Though this is not shown to what extent this suggests a positive cue for women as mate potential, it has been suggested in a comparative study that males who protect their friends actually gain more sexual access. This was evident in a study of baboons, where the males protect the feeding grounds, and in return the female gives them periodic sexual access; therefore suggesting mens evolutionary drive for protecting women (Bleske Buss, 2000). Flirtatious behavior and evolutionary views support the reflexive and reflective tendencies of males and females, respectively. This suggests that men and women in platonic cross-sex friendships engage in sexually charged behavior. The preceding information also supports, as the article contends, that platonic relationships may not be feasible simply because of evolutionary drives (Lazarus, 2010). Although these findings reinforce the idea that purely platonic relationships do not exist, there is information to believe otherwise. The following research in categories of similar costs, romantic intent, and reasons to stay platonic indicate evidence against the preceding research, contending there may be reasons platonic relationships can exist without having intent for or a transition to romantic relationships. Similar Costs and Status Males and Females do not differ in how costly it is to be denied sex from the person in the friendship; the potential for rejection is perceived as low in cost for both sexes (Bleske Buss, 2000). This suggests that men and women may be able to be friends without worrying about sexual access. However, this information does support males and/or females think about sex. Since the potential cost for rejection was low, this implies the male and females evaluated each other before making the decision to become romantic (Bleske Buss, 2000). Therefore, this seems to be more closely related to the conclusion in the article, and more supportive of reflexive and reflective behavior than not. Even so, the status of the relationship may have an effect on the friendship. Although, ex-romantic partners report wanting a platonic relationship to turn romantic once again, a friend who has always been platonic would not want the relationship to turn romantic (Schneider Kenny, 2000). This indicates that how a relationship is initiated may have an actual impact on the relationship. Platonic friendships therefore, may exist depending on past experiences with the individual. This undermines the contention that platonic cross-sex friendships can never be platonic, since past experience can have an impact. Romantic Intent Romantic intent was not classified in the above article Why Men and Women Cant be Just Friends. Romantic intent can vary and impact relationships differently. In the strictly platonic relationships, cross-sex friends reported less contact, flirtation and activity compared to romantic relationships. Arguably, strictly platonic friendships do not flirt, touch and spend as much time with one another relative to mutually romantic relationships, possibly because doing so may jeopardize the friendship (Guererro Chavez, 2005). Furthermore, long term strictly platonic friendships can move past initial romantic intent. Friendships in the long term are shown to use maintenance behaviors such as less contact and flirtation as a means to not potentially ruin the platonic friendship (Guererro Chavez, 2005). These finding suggests strictly platonic and mutually romantic relationships do vary with romantic intent, and thus may not perceive one another as anything more than platonic friends. Reasons to Remain Platonic There are six motives as to why relationships should remain platonic. To safeguard the relationship, lack of or no attraction, network disapproval, third party, risk aversion and timeout. This order with safeguarding the relationship being most important implies that there is an intrinsic reason for relationships to remain purely platonic. The rewarding nature of the relationship may be seen as more rewarding than a relationship moving towards one that is romantic or sexual. For instance, a reward in a platonic relationship is the ability to share emotion and/ or gain support about external situations; the ability to disclose in the relationship. On the other hand, less rewarding factors may direct people to remain platonic as well. For example, one may feel that the friend in the relationship is not attractive, or one may not want to expose oneself to possible emotional instability (Messman, Canary, Hause, 2000). Thus, research suggests cross-sex platonic relationships may have str ong reasons for existing. Furthermore, all platonic friendships may not be sexually charged. The sexual challenge in cross-sex friendships, which refers to men and women being hardwired to be sexually attracted to one another, is said to only occur in a minority of cross-sex friendships. Furthermore, the sexual challenge may be linked to attraction of the spirit, rather than of the body. Thus, reinforcing that sexual challenges may not be accurately represented when referring to the sexual desire of men and women (Messman et al., 2000). Conclusion Flirtatious behavior and evolutionary theories strongly support the idea that there cannot be purely platonic relationships as indicated in the article. However, alternative research suggests platonic friendships may be possible; similar costs, subjective romantic intent, and reasons to remain reasons to remain platonic are evidence that friendships have some incentive to remain purely platonic. Although there is support for both sides, the underlying question is whether men and women together can have purely platonic friendships. Flirtatious behaviors as well as the evolutionary theories of biosocial and parental investment demonstrate that cross-sex platonic friendships are challenging. The majority of the information in the Why Men and Women Cant be Just Friends article does give credence to the majority of these findings. Although in light of these findings, the article seems to be narrow in its evaluation. The main point of the article contends that platonic relationships do not exist because of evolutionary reasoning based on reflexive and reflective drives (Lazarus, 2010). On the other hand, the article does not account for romantic intent, a significant part of relationships. The article assumes based on the first meeting of men and women that there are uncontrollable biological reactions which occur. Although these reactions tend to happen, the article should still account for the past and present status of the relationship, as well as each persons intent to whether or not they want a platonic or romantic friendship. Since the article fails to account for this romantic intent of a males and females, it therefore neglects the possibility of differences in perception; that is, how people view each other based on their past experience with that person (Messman et al., 2000). Moreover, long term platonic friendships vary in their romantic intent depending if maintenance behaviors are used. For instance, in a relationship that has always been platonic, both persons will use more maintenance behaviors to preserve their platonic friendship, in order to safeguard the friendship from moving towards romanticism. However, maintenance behaviors are also shown not to be useful. For instance, one of the people in the relationship may be denied a desired sexual progression (Guererro Chavez, 2005). Although there can be changes made to the article, the underlying argument is supported by the majority of research. Assuming a purely platonic relationship to be a cross-sex friendship where neither party has the thought of addressing a romantic relationship, or having desire for sexual activities; the existence of purely platonic relationships is slim. Platonic relationships engaging in flirtatious behavior carry a sexual connotation (Egland, et al., 1996). This implies that males and females even in platonic relationships may exhibit these reflexive and reflective drives. Furthermore, the differing parental investments for males and females bolster the sentiment regarding reflexive and reflective drives; this concerns why males invest less in their relationships while females invest more in their relationships (Li Kenrick, 2006; Tafoya, 2006). Additionally, the biosocial theory suggests evolutionary underpinnings consistent with reflexive and reflective behavior; these include se xual behavior in friends with benefits relationships and behaviors of rewards and costs. Therefore, the article and the preceding findings suggest that the existences of purely platonic cross-sex heterosexual relationships are unlikely.

Teaching Practices Essay -- Education, Early Childhood Education

In this essay Te Ao Maori, Te Reo Maori, Tikanga Maori and Treaty of Waitangi will be examined. The relevance of these to the teaching practices will be reflected upon. Few appropriate strategies will be discussed to support the implementation of a bicultural curriculum in early childhood education. According to Irwin (1984) for Maori, the creating myths form an important part of their world view, â€Å"conveying myth messages that people practice as ideals and norms in their lives â€Å"(p.1). The Maori creation myths begin with three stages te kore, te po and tea ao Marama. In the beginning there was Te Kore, the nothingness. Then came the te po the night , it was this night that the seven gods began crawling in the narrow space between their parents bodies, who were Rangi (sky father) and Papa (Earth mother). One day Tane –mahuta god of forest, began separating his parents apart so that there was enough room for them to move around in. So when Tane became successful in separating his parents, the world of light – te ao marama was created . The sun used to move across the sky quite rapidly and it used to be hard for the people to finish their daily chores such as cooking, hunting due to the insufficient time of the sun in the sky. So, Maui the demi – god decided one day that he needs to slow down the sun. As stated by Reed (2007) â€Å"Maui battered the sun until he was weakened (p.28). Ultimately, the people were able to finish their chores as sunlight was there for more hours. Te Ao Maori has played a significant role in my teaching practice, because the creation of the Maori myths is similar to showing the children how to grow a seed into a plant, the different growing stages of the plant depict the Maori strategy of growing of ... ... some aspects of treaty and the government has tried to settle the claims and set of tribunals to look into this aspect. Foreshore rights are one of the contributions issues. Government feels the treaty is an important part of New Zealand history and culture. (State Services Commision , 2004). Te Ao Maori, Te Reo Maori, Tikanga Maori and Treaty of Waitangi are an valuable asset of New Zealand and they are protected under the Treaty of Waitangi. Te Ao Maori explains us the creating of myths and legends through the Maori perspective and also that Te Reo Maori (Maori language) is a living treasure (taonga) of New Zealand. Tikanga Maori tells us the importance of the values and beliefs in Maori culture. Treaty of Waitangi holds a special value in the history of New Zealand. Therefore, all the Maori perspective add a significance in the wealth of knowledge.

Lost in Yonkers and One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest Critical Lens

The Unintentionally Hero Umberto Eco once wrote, â€Å"A real hero is always a hero by mistake†¦ † This quotation means that when a person doesn't intentionally try to be a hero, but results in being the hero, is a true hero. I agree with this quotation, as it holds true in life and in literature. Both Lost In Yonkers by Neil Simon and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey, support that heros are those who act bravely upon themselves and not those who act the way to become the hero. Lost In Yonkers is a story about a father, Eddie, who has to leave his two sons with his mother for care. He has to leave because he borrowed a mass amount of money from a loan shark to pay for his wife's medical bills. Eddie tells his boys, â€Å"The doctors, the hospital, cost me everything I had†¦ And everything I didn't have†¦ And finally it cost me everything i was going to have†¦ I was broke and I went into debt†¦ Into hock†¦ Only I didn't have anything left to hock†¦ So i went to a man†¦ A shylock, they call him†¦ A loan shark. † A loan shark is a person who specializes in marking loads to desperate people. Eddie couldn't have gone to the bank because the bank would of refused or asked for interest or for collateral, all of which Eddie can't afford. A shylock doesn't need collateral. His collateral is your desperation. When Eddie got the money form the Shylock, a clock starts. When the clock is up, the Shylock expects his money and if the money isn't there, lives will be taken instead. The only way for him to pay back the Shylock was to take a job selling scrap iron; however, the job requires a lot of traveling. The only way for him to take the job was to leave his sons. It is revealed in the dialogue the misery he feels. He loves his sons tremendously and feels awful that he has to leave them for nine months. He says, â€Å"I'm not asking for myself. I'm asking for my boys. For my boys, I'll be obligates,† to Jay and Arty. In this dialogue passage, he shows that for his boys, he'll do anything. Eddie is being a true hero by stepping up to the plate and taking action for his early acts. He goes into deep debt by trying to save his wife, and now he has to risk his life to save his boys. He might not realize that he is a hero, but his actions justify the means. In One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a man named Randle McMurphy becomes another victim in the mental ward under the control of Nurse Ratched, or also known as the Big Nurse by the other mental patients. Randle comes into the hospital ready to rebel and start a riot. At their daily group therapy session, Randle asks Nurse Ratched, â€Å"†¦ remember that vote we had a day or so back–about TV time? Well, today's Friday and I thought I might just bring it up again, just to see if anybody else has picked up a little guts. † The vote was regarding about the patients and how they wanted to watch the World Series during TV time. The conflict is, Nurse Ratched doesn't want the patients to have control. She likes to be in control. Once again, she wins the vote. At the climax of the first half of the book, Nurse Ratched lose her temper. Randle looks at the time and he realizes it's time for the game. He â€Å"drags his armchair out to in front of the TV set, then switches on the set and sits down,† even though he lost the vote. The Big Nurse looks at Randle and then goes to the control room and flips a switch which causes the TV picture to swirl back into the gray. Even though this all happened, Randle is stilly sitting there. Nurse Ratched goes up to him and says, â€Å"I said, Mr. McMurphy, that you are supposed to be working during these hours,† in a tight voice. This is where she loses her temper. As she is warning Randle, other patients of the mental ward goes to grab a chair and pulls in next to Randle. Her last words were, â€Å"You men-Stop this. STOP! † before she was just like the rest of them, crazy. By hitting this climactical point, it shows that Randle McMurphy can really do anything he wishes. These two scenes where he stood up for what he wanted and what the other patients wanted showed that he is a hero. It may not be the genetically typically hero from some TV show, but a hero indeed. He fought for him and the other victims to be able to watch the World Series on TV but to be shut down by Nurse Ratched. Normally, no patient would even dare to suggest or question the Big Nurse. Randel stood up and stepped up. Also, when he dragged the chair in front of the TV, it showed he was not ready to be defeated so easily. He didn't do these things to be a hero, but he did those things because he believe it was the right thing to do. What you see is what you get–we see Randle being a leader and brave and that is what we get. â€Å"A real hero is always a hero by mistake†¦ † means that people who unintentionally become the hero in the end are the true heros rather than those who try to become the heros with their actions. I agree much with this quotation for it holds true in life and literature. Eddie was a true hero in Lost In Yonkers and Randle was a true hero in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Visual Learning Style as Perceived by DLSL Education...

Introduction Throughout many researches they found out that most of the 21st century learners are visual learners or someone who â€Å"needs to see it to know it,† (S.D.Fliess, 2009) Visual learners are those who learn things best through seeing them. Visual learners often prefer to sit in the front of the class and watch the lecture closely, because in this manner they see visual clearly so they understand and remember lessons. Visual aids such as maps, graph, pictures and colorful outline are the effective tools that can be used by teacher to accommodate students that are visual learners. Often, these students will find that confusing information makes more sense when it is explained with the aid of a chart or picture. These types of learners learn best with visual aid when studying, like a colorful outline of test materials, he or she may retain more information. For this type of learner, visual tools improve the ability to recall information more completely; these tools have a big impact to a visual learner. (G Fleming, 2013) Some visual learners are characterise by using maps, pictures, diagrams, and color; needs to see the teacher’s body language/facial expression to fully comprehend; often closes their eyes to visualize or remember something. Teachers may also teach students to use highlighters when going through their notes and to create flashcards when studying for tests and learning information. These are the way on how will a teacher caters a student that is visual